ending.

i started re-watching HBO's Six Feet Under a few weeks ago. i came to the episode where Nate's wife's body is found and he illegally buries her to honor her wishes and it's as powerful as it was the first time around.. an image, an idea that has stuck with me for years.

i remember the summer i went to stay with my estranged grandfather a few years before i graduated art school. we were on a road trip to pick up my mother in norfolk and we passed the time talking about stories i'd never heard about my grandmother, their crazy youth spent together, and finally, of how her death had affected him years later.. there were so many things i wanted to ask him then. like, what was it like to watch the people you loved and grew up with start to die? the questions sat on the tip of my tongue. i never asked and part of me regrets it. i was afraid to disturb the camaraderie we'd developed maybe. we were a different sort, me and gramps.

he died in april. my mother told me the day after.

it didn't seem real then. still doesn't, in fact. i can remember the last time i saw him, freshly twenty-two, sitting in a diner near the beach before he drove me to the airport. i didn't think that would be the last time i made it east, or to see him no less. few years ago, he lost his feet and later, his legs to diabetes. he was in a home by then. mom and i discussed going to visit him.. we just knew. but i could never get the time off from all my jobs, i said. and ma couldn't leave until the end of the schoolyear.

i should have said fuck-all and gotten the time off. i should have scraped together the cash. it's silly, at my age i should have remembered that life does not wait for you. it will not wait for comfort-ability or opportunity.

my grandfather essentially died alone.. just like he had lived the bulk of his life. a man who learned too late how to love and let people in.. maybe he never really learned it at all.

new year.

so as it turns out, three jobs is a lot to handle. i've been absent for a long while. i've tried the whole tumblr thing, you know, "keep up with the new." but it has never felt right to me. it lost the personal feel, the part where you get to convey with words (and not just reblogged images) how you're feeling.
i know. it's ironic, isn't it? that an "illustrator" would hesitate from blogging images to convey emotion. but there are times when tumblr does a decent job, and many where it falters. for me, it's a lot more of the latter. pulse of pop culture be damned!
i'm getting older, thankfully so are you. but it's a new year, yeah? so i'm reflecting as people tend to do.
last year, i worked hard on two solo shows, a few graphic design projects and some commissions. i've got some stuff in the wings to start off the new year and hopefully by the end of this month, i'll have some news about t-shirts and an updated website. i haven't been terribly present with emails and news so if i needed to embrace some sort of resolution, it would be to upkeep that aspect of art-making. i'm continually working toward that.
in other unrelated news, i've got that itch for the horizon again.. wondering how soon i can save some pennies for another vacation.

art. work. ing. it.

i've been busy with my many jobs and regret that i've not had much time to update with news.
currently, i'm working on prepping for two different shows. the first will open at the Basement Gallery for the month of September. i feel i should mention that i will be unable to attend the opening for that First Thursday as i will be working a little event called burning man. i hope that doesn't dissuade any of you to attend and check it out. i'm uncertain as to the other artists that will be showing with me during that month, but when i find out, i'll post it up.
the second show will open at the Visual Arts Collective for the month of October with a Halloween theme. i will be there for that opening.
i'll post more photos of some of the recent workings from both shows as i progress.. small teasers and such. here's a few for now:

^for the basement show

^for the VaC show

winter tunes

presenting for your semi-bored pleasure and a limited time, [a small fraction of] my winter playlist. so act now.

1. fear of tigers - i can make the pain disappear(monsieur adi remix)
2. dinosaur jr. - said the people
3. loch lomond - tic
4. bears of the blue river - the wringer
5. a fine frenzy - happier
6. foster the people - pumped up kicks
7. yacht - psychic city(classixx remix)
8. the wombats - tokyo(vampires & wolves)
9. the cranberries - ridiculous thoughts
10. casiotone for the painfully alone - new year's kiss
11. caribou - sun(star guitar remix)
12. robyn - dancing on my own(fred falke remix)
13. sufjan stevens - i walked
14. boy & bear - the storm
15. nick cave & the bad seeds - into my arms
16. mark ronson & business intl - need somebody to love me
17. tom waits - pony
18. evelyn evelyn - evelyn evelyn

a fine frenzy.

a song off my winter playlist, hopefully to post soon..
still been pretty busy playing catch-up from my trip. behind on some things like my trip journal, but once that's finished, promises to have some pretty interesting tales. i've got some big things in the works and a couple shows scheduled for this year that i'm pretty excited about. one is a halloween-themed show at the Visual Arts Collective for October, and headlining a September show at the Basement Gallery. i'll post some progress photos of that work as it comes.
^from the flying m's "monster in the cabinet" show
also. did the art for the Boise Weekly's Fiction 101 this year. should be out soon. i love the challenge of illustrating those small works of fiction. taking 101 words and trying to make sense out of them and create an image from it is why i continue to love my job.
i'm thinking about posting some more free art in the coming weeks, so watch for that.

randoms.

attended the boise weekly cover auction last week and it was a great experience. i tend to shy away from public events where my art is up for display in general. i think most artists do. with my little sister in tow- her wearing my name tag 'cause i'm shy, right- we sat and watched the bidding process and boozing of locals and art patrons. i loved the energy. i love this community. and seeing my fellow artist friend's work being sold is always inspiring.

for those who don't know, i'm one of the artists participating in the trey mcintyre project's 9+1 show. it opens first thursday in december. i saw some of the arts turned in the other day and was blown away. there's some amazing stuff worthy of checking out. plus, you're supporting a great local dance group. they do pretty amazing stuff, those guys.

i'm still working on collecting a bunch of my art for selling. there's a lot of small stuff like sketches that i never did anything with and random boise weekly illustrations that i'll probably sell for very cheap just to get rid of them. i hate seeing art in drawers when someone would rather hang it up. anyway, i'll have those posted and for sale at some point in the near future.

what else? oh. one of my favorite british tv shows has made it across the pond to the states. i was skeptical at first, but it's looking to be pretty promising. i feel about 13 years old when i say i'm excited about it:

Skins - MTV Shows

boise weekly cover auction

hey guys. the boise weekly cover art auction is happening tonight at the historical museum, so be sure not to miss it. i've got a cover in the auction this year, so i'll be in attendance as well. details on the photo below.

i'm finishing up a few pieces for the trey mcintyre project. they have a group of artists involved in what is called 9+1. there are nine dancers in the company and one trey mcintyre, hence the name. artists were encouraged to attend rehearsals and watch the performance and follow their inspiration to creating art centering around the dance company. i just wrapped a video interview for the trey mcintyre project this morning. on account of my backpacking trip, i am the last artist participating in the TMP 9+1 show to shoot a video and i've been told they're posting them up on Trey McIntyre Project's facebook page if you're curious. my interview promises to be the most awkward one.. meh. one can hope.

i had a meeting yesterday for a project i'm pretty excited about contributing to. i'll post more about that when i've got something concrete in the works for it. annnd. i'm still going through my art stash and will post more art up for sale later this week.

up for this.

i've finally returned from my backpacking trip around europe and the uk. it was an awesome time with ups and downs and beautiful moments. i'm working on finishing up my trip journal since returning. finding time on the road to keep up with writing each day became a struggle. there was too much input and not enough downtime to record it all. while the memory is fresh, i'm going to finish it. i have to.
i feel like so many people talk about doing things and never do them. seeing the world and putting all your belongings into a pack strapped to your back? seems to be one of the things that everyone dreams about doing, but never quite comes to being. i won't lie. it was a hardship. it was expensive, even living as cheaply as possible. finding time off work was near impossible-- finding the time, in general, where you didn't have responsibilities barking up every avenue wasn't an option. the only thing i knew was that my time was short. responsibilities only grow over the years. i had some money saved up, i quit my job, booked the tickets with my friend and we didn't look back.
if you want to do something, do it. quit talking about it. you'll find that if you say "yes," the world opens itself to you and you have everything to gain from it.
remember that your time will run out and you have the rest of your life to make money. a pal i met while staying in zurich, switzerland said something that stayed with me during my travels: you follow your dreams. even if it keeps you poor in money, you'll always be rich in life.

also. i'm going through my stash of art. i need to make room for new stuff. every single wall in my house is covered with it-- not that this is a bad thing-- but i need the space, so i'm going to be selling a bunch of stuff cheap just to get it out of drawers, cupboards, and off the floor. stay posted over the coming weeks. i'll be digging out everything i've got around this place.

Brett Domino: Justin Timberlake Medley

hahaha.

skipping school.

it's friday, you guys..
and all i want to do is skip work.

flashback cafe.

closer than anything..

admittedly, i've got this curious obsession with twins, conjoined or not. this Evelyn Evelyn project of jason webley and amanda palmer's intrigues me-- and yeah i know it's not real, but i'll play along. this tune off my summer playlist is haunting. probably more suited for fall or winter with its cinema-worthy string orchestra swells and eerie circus toy glockenspiel tune, but it's included nevertheless.

there's an "Illustration Showdown" group art show coming up for August's 1st thursday. an homage to schlock illustration like dogs playing poker, participants- 'sides myself- include: Bricolage, Erin Cunningham, Julia Green, Alexa Howell, Kelly Knopp, Ben Minter, John Padlo, Tony Rios, Jason Sievers, April VanDeGrift, Rick Walter. (gallery alexa rose, august 5, @5pm.)
last, some of my summer playlist:

suspicious for the winter - empty streets
cocorosie - lemonade
bloc party - kreuzberg
edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros - desert song
rogue wave - lake michigan
malajube - montréal -40°c
foals - spanish sahara
the virgins - rich girls
van she - changes
the lovely feathers - lowiza
evelyn evelyn - evelyn evelyn
beth orton - stolen car
nneka - heartbeat

and the malajube video for montréal is genius. i've no idea what they're singing about but the illustrations made this video:

food coma.

finish on the in-progress work:


i've had a ridiculously hard time coming up with ideas for this show theme "wild times." i cannot get past stupid things like spring break girls gone wild or boozy bashes, skinny dipping.
so instead, i'm starting to gather ideas for things that are quite the opposite. like, buying cat food on friday nights and like, computer games.. book clubs.. ha. i don't know.. what else is unarguably not wild?

lovely.

^a song from my summer playlist from Montreal band The Lovely Feathers. i really like how this video was executed and adoringly admired the band's acting chops. "lowiza" is also available for free download off their site. go here.
summer playlist to be posted soon.

working on art stuffs still... forever and ever, amen. here's some photos of my latest in-progress, shot for some technique tips:

sums it up.

m.i.a.

i'd heard some of england's current musical darling ellie goulding's music before- even had a few songs of hers on my itunes- but after seeing this vid of her performance at radio 1's big weekend, i was swayed into her favor like so many others. i appreciate any female who doesn't shy away from the drums.
her album Lights is out and if it sounds like your bag, check it out.

art-wise? i spent the last five days house and dog sitting. at some point yesterday, my sketchbook i've had since 2006 turns up missing. i retraced my steps, tore apart two houses, and drove to three different towns recovering my entire day of events in search of my pocket life. after a near breakdown and a text to my mom that "no i don't want to talk about it and no i don't want witnesses to my breakdown," i decided on a long shot and checked the garage of my host home. there, in the middle of the floor, gently chewed and cast aside, was my sketchbook.
i wanted to cut that dog.

but i didn't.


if i had lost my book, this would have been among the casualties:


and my twins cover comes out today on the boise weekly. check it!

transient.

my roomies moved out at the end of may.

it's only been a week or so, and i'm finding i miss those small things: trips to Wendy's for foodstuffs and inebriated Ramen-making, drinking large quantities of wine while playing Candyland, laughing about Hayley's leaked topless photo (i can't seem to wash my brain of this one, unfortunately, and how i've tried), starting fights in clubs with random backwards cap-wearing hoochies. and while i'm excited to visit them in their new place in a new time zone out east in the future, i will always miss this immediacy of friendship.

my mother sold our childhood home around the same time, so many of my weeks were spent packing and unpacking. always in this transient state and refusing to come to terms with the fact that the place i called Home was no longer going to be mine. my sister and i ate one last sad meal in our backyard garden while my mother steam cleaned carpets inside. void of furniture, the house hadn't been that vacant in 18 years, it brought back memories of moving into the place in my younger days. it was a big move for us. after my parents' divorce, we packed up and started fresh in a new town. it was the first time in my entire ten years of life that i got to see my mom happy.
she lived in a trailer in my driveway with her husband for a weekend while i helped my roommates pack up and leave. one evening, i watched "the time traveler's wife" with her on her laptop on the small trailer couch. i'm not ashamed to admit i nearly wept like a baby.
this life i know is changing, and i'm doing my best to roll with it.

-in art news, i'm busy working on a small show for up north.

-i've also got those Built to Spill and some old Josh Ritter/Andrew Bird posters i did available at the Basement Gallery and The Visual Arts Collective for purchase.

-my pal Rick Walter has a show that just opened up this last weekend at the Visual Arts Collective that is nothing short of awesome. it'll be up for two months, so go check it if you haven't seen it.

there's other stuff in the works, but to be honest, i'm wiped at the moment. somewhere there's a Red Bull singing my name in sweet, saccharin tones.

pairs.

most things are better in pairs.

finished this up last night. i abandoned the drawing for now and decided to paint it up instead. turned the painting into the Boise Weekly for a cover but will keep the drawing for a show set..

in progress.

started on a series of drawings last week for a possible show. this is just the first and it's near-finish but still in progress. hoping to do around ten or so.. we'll see.

sigh.

three.

the pups turned three years old today. i'll admit i felt a bit sheepish about hitting up the Petsmart and actually buying them "gifts" for an occasion that neither of them could care less about. jackson got a replacement harness for the one he chewed off his body last week. andie got a new dress. but her hairy arms just make her look like a drag queen. albeit, a very cute drag queen.

we're like twins.